Intro from the CD Insert for "Karaoke Koncert Konspiracy"
They say that every dogs day must come, and those hot-dogs, the Filking Wieners, have been looking for their day in NASCRAG events for nine years now. Oh, sure, theyve come in with different names (Jamaican Bob and his Sled Dogs, what about Cannibal Holsteins from Wisconsin?, and some theyre too embarrassed to admit), but the spir it of the Wieners has persisted through it all.
" And what is that spirit?" I hear all of you asking. Its really simple: if you cant win honestly, then bribe your judge! Theyve known for years that even advancing to the final round of a given years event took all they had. Winning was going to take altogether more impressive stuff. Bribing was their only hope.
Of course, their bribes, legendary as they are now, didnt start out with such so tion. Legends say their first bribe was little more sophisticated than a bag of stale Cheetos. But they really began to hit their stride when they bribed their first round judge with a masseuse. They did really well that year, placing 4th in the end, and the Wieners saw their calling.
Unfortunately, their masseuse left the team to join NASCRAG as a judge (We miss you, Mary!), so they had to come up with different bribes. The next year, to commemorate the Dutchy of Alba, then seen in Nexus II, they tried to bribe Al with a bag of burgers from Albys. They didnt get far that year, so they decided to up the stakes to include giant cookies with Al Bakers name on it. Unfortunately, they couldnt afford a spe cial cookie for each round. The 2nd round judge only received a bag of mini cookies, and the last round got the leftover oatmeal raisin. This helped, and in spite of the disapproval of the last round judge, they managed 2nd overall.
Emboldened by their successes, the next year saw the Wieners come with miniatures of the characters in the events to give to their judg es. They didnt get very far, though, and attributed their failure to it not being a big enough or flashy enough bribe. Undaunted, they worked hard and last year unveiled their greatest bribe ever. Im sure you all know and play NASCRAG: The Wool Gath ing. A collectable card game (collect all 127 cards!) to cap ture the spir it of NASCRAG games. A card game that was ac ly a role-playing event. A card game where you could pit your story against your op ry, as if writing the event that would unfold in the World of NASCRAG.
What an amazing success! the Wieners watched their judges clamoring for cards! Cunningly, the Wieners took their accolades with a mysterious smile, knowing this was the time to keep secrets. So they waited for a NASCRAG judge to wonder how the Wool Gathering was played. When the idea first appeared (no one living remembers who first thought about it), the Wieners knew their wisdom was great, for NASCRAG judges lined up to speak to them about how to play this wondrous new game. Calmly, the Wieners said, "Sure... Well be happy to give you the rules
. If you let us take 1st place!"
Alas! Some great ideas can be stopped by inflexible integrity. Carol, the Scroll Queen, begged for a copy of the rules and sweated with the temptation as she calculated team points. But, in the end, she let the scores stand, and the Wieners lost 1st place by just 10 points.
Well, the Wieners are nothing if not persevering (some would say theyre too stupid to know when to stop, but we no longer talk to those people, so how would we know?), so theyre back this year with an even bigger bribe, part of which you hold here. This CD contains music from the heart of the Wieners (all soaked in nitrates), expressing their deepest emotions as they strive for greatness. Who can forget those great words "Oh, Were dreaming of a NASCRAG win, now." Or the unforgettable "Oh were a bunch of whining NASCRAG Filkers" Ah, listen to the sounds. Absorb the message. And when youre done, listen to the last half of track *. Then, certainly, the Wieners will turn to Winners this year!
And now, without further ado, the immortal lyr ics of
Karaoke Koncert Konspiracy
- The FW Theme Song
- Cult of Al
- Sing! Sing! Sing!
- The Rattled Din
- My Favorite Game
- NASCRAG the Unknown Others
- I Think I'm a Gnome Now
- White NASCRAG
- One Gnome Boxman
- Apprentice's Mnemonic
- Your Butts in a Sling
- Norrins Lament
- Trial of Bufford
- Ballad of Flambeau
- Marshal Guy
- The Second FW THeme Song
- Nascrag Names