FW: The Genesis Device

Our story is the tale of how we got carried away in an honest attempt to bribe our way into first place.

During the hot days of August, 1991, we played our first NASCRAG™ event - one of the last ZEF™ events. We had a blast, especially throwing cream pies at those horrible clowns and pitting the devils against the demons! And, of course, it wasn’t the last year we went!

The “we” has changed a little over the years. I think that first year was Steve, Eric, Randal, and a few pickups. We barely knew what to do and didn’t even clear round 1! Within a couple of years, however, we had a team name (Jamaican Bob and his Sled Dogs) and a really good cheer. We gained new team members (Mary, John, Elvis) and took 4th place. There was applause and a nifty T-shirt for each of us! We were hooked! Fourth place must mean we could actually win the thing - maybe next year…

It didn’t work out that way, though we managed enough 2nd places that we considered calling ourselves “Always a Bridesmaid.” Team members changed some more (we lost Mary to the Dark Side™ and got Mike and Mike and Honey). We tried hard, though, and really took the NASCRAG™ bribery ethic to heart. There was food, miniatures selected for the event, and even a woman (well, for a back rub, anyway). Then we got serious.

We created NASCRAG™: The Wool Gathering, a collectible card game featuring artwork from Indy and plot events from previous NASCRAG™ events. We printed over 100 different kinds of cards, each with unique powers and effects. We gave a deck to every judge (ed. note: I never got one…), we gave a deck to Al and Carol, and the authors. We even had special cards made uniquely for Al. We did it all. We took second.

That floored us. How could we top that bribe? We thought long and hard. We argued and paced a lot. The next year, we came not merely as a team, but as the Filking Wieners band. We had our own tour T-shirts. We brought a CD with 17 Filks about NASCRAG™ events. There was a nifty insert with all the lyrics. We bribed and bribed and bribed.

We won (after only 11 years of trying!), but that’s where it gets interesting. At the awards ceremony, they said that the winning team was proof that the tradition of giving bribes in no way changed your score. After all, they said, the Filking Weiners won in spite of their bribe!

Well, we couldn’t let that sit, could we? I mean, that was pretty much throwing down the gauntlet. So we bided our time, joined the Dark Side™ (i.e., became judges), and tried to act real innocent. At least, until we revealed our final bribe.

NASCRAG™ Seconds is our largest bribe, yet, though perhaps this time to players as well as judges. We’re not sure exactly what this will win us, but we’re sure it’s something good. Maybe players will bribe Al to get us to judge their table! Maybe Carol will protect us from RPGA™ HQ. Maybe, just maybe, Al will send us out to a table in a quiet room.

We can only hope